Bittersweet Memories
by Catherine Willmon 2013
Summary: Post 'Loyalty'. Bittesweet memories have kept Bobby and Alex together, but it can also tear them apart. As they say their final goodbyes, they look back on everything they went through. Please R&R!


**Title: Bittersweet Memories**

**Characters/Parings: Bobby/Alex**

**Rating: Strong PG-13/Strong R**

**Disclaimer: Believe me, if I owned them, Bobby and Alex would've stayed on the show (cries).**

**Setting/Classification: Drama, Romance**

**Spoilers/Notes: Post 'Loyalty'. Alternative ending to the 'hug'.**

**Summary: Bittersweet memories would forever hold Bobby and Alex together. Bittersweet memories could also tear them apart. As they say their final goodbyes, the two seasoned detectives look back fondly at their partnership, their friendship and even their budding romantic relationship.**

**Author's note: Okay, I'm still reeling from last night's episode. No, and it's not just because Bobby kissed Alex on the cheek and they ended up hugging (which I knew it was gonna happen), it's because it's the last time we're gonna see them. I had originally planned on making this a one shot, but maybe another chapter or two of this story wouldn't hurt. Besides, I have my own little twists and turns to bring to you, plus there's smut involved! Love you lots!**

**Enjoy and happy reading!**

**Lots of love, hugs and kisses from your resident writer and friend, Nina!**

**X**

**Major Case Squad**

**22****nd**** Precinct**

**One Police Plaza**

**Manhattan, New York**

**April 6, 2010**

Detective Robert 'Bobby' Goren has seen the good, the bad and the ugly in his storied career.

He has a lot of good memories and a lot of bad memories working with the Major Case Squad.

And now it was all coming to an end.

A part of him doesn't regret leaving. But a larger part of him will miss everyone he has worked with. He'll miss the opportunity of coming to work every single day and having the privilege of putting his brilliant criminal profiler to good use. However, the one person he'll miss more than anyone else is his partner, best friend and now girlfriend, Alexandra Eames. He wanted to kick himself because they could've taken the opportunity to finally go public with their relationship and this had to happen. Now, he'll never have the chance to tell everyone how much he loves her. He has to leave immediately.

Bobby doesn't know where he's gonna go from here on out. Being a cop is all he knows how to do. He didn't know where to go at this point, but he won't be down for long. If there's one thing he learned about being a cop is that whatever that don't kill you makes you strong. And he's been strong all his life.

Now, for the first time in his life, he felt like someone ripped his heart right out of his chest. As he looked around the precinct he has called home for the last eight years, he looked over his shoulder and found his partner standing in the Captain's office. God, she was so beautiful, even when she cries, she's beautiful. This has been the most difficult time of both of their lives. He didn't wanna leave, especially now, but he has to.

He knew in his fragile heart that it was gonna happen one way or another.

Alex looked around the Captain's office one last time and felt her heart beating madly. Standing in the same room where the late Danny Ross resided, she felt tears forming in her brown eyes. It felt so weird standing in here and realizing that she'll have to get used to not seeing her superior officer everyday. Hell, she'll have to get used to not being in the precinct everyday for the rest of her life. And knowing that she's gonna have to make the most biggest and difficult decision of her life was eating her up inside.

She never felt so guilty in her life.

A knock on the door startled her out of her daze. She looked over her shoulder and saw Bobby knocking on the glass window. Sighing deeply, she opened the door.

"Hey," she whispered.

He lowered his eyes and shifted back and forth while standing. "Hey."

"Come in," she said as she stepped aside. He walked in a moment later and she closed the door.

"How long have you been in here?" he asked as he turned around and faced her.

She sighed. "Not long. I guess I should get used to being here everyday now."

"Why? What's going on?" Bobby asked, looking curious.

Alex felt a tear rolling down her face. "I had a meeting with the Chief of Detectives today. I was offered the Captain's position here."

"Well, that's great, Alex. You deserve it," he told her, smiling. However, his smile faded when he noticed her crying.

"They told me there were some restrictions to me getting the job. They told me if I wanted to take the position..."

"....I'd be fired," he finished the sentence for her, already knowing the obvious.

"Yeah, or we'd be dragged through a special hearing and that's the last thing I want to happen," she replied bitterly.

"Well, I knew it would come to this. I'd come close to losing my job one too many times to count. It had to end one way or another," he quipped.

She looked at him with slight anger in her eyes. "Bobby, you trying to make the situation better is making it worse."

"I'm sorry. Look, I know it's the end of the line for me. So, I'm fired. I'll find something else to do. In fact, I was offered a position with the FBI," he told her.

"The FBI?! Even after everything they put us through, they want you to work for them?! Fucking cowards!" she seethed.

He had to laugh at her bluntness. "Yeah, but this job pays more, I won't have to travel as much and I'll still be here."

"Wait, the job's here? I forgot there's a government building a couple of blocks from here," she quipped.

He placed his hand on her shoulder. "Look, the bottom line is, maybe it's time for me to move on. I've reached the end of my rope with this one and after Ross's death, I lost control over my career and my life. I lost myself in the process and I didn't know how to regain my sense of reality. I didn't know how to regain myself. So, maybe leaving is a good way for me to find myself again."

Alex knew Bobby was right. Everything was spiraling out of control and it wasn't the case they worked on, Ross's murder and the fact the FBI has trampled in on their ongoing investigation made her realize that maybe she lost a part of herself as well. She believed that she would be able to handle things after the death of her husband Joe and even having the dueling task of arresting the killer, she still wasn't content with her life. And, in the process, she ended up losing her sense of reality.

"You're smart, Bobby Goren. And you're an excellent cop. Always has and always will be," she honestly told him.

He gave her a grim smile. "Thanks, Alex. You're an excellent cop as well. I, uh, I'll see you around."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Bobby, we're dating. Of course you'll be seeing me around. A lot."

"You're right," he said softly. He patted her on the shoulder one more time before he turned to leave. He leaned over and was about to kiss her on her cheek, but she had a different idea. Just as his lips were about to press against her delicate skin, she turned her head and their lips met.

He was shocked at first, but just to feel her lips against him would make any man weak in the knees. What the hell was he thinking trying to kiss her on her cheek when he has done more than kiss her on the cheek. He has seen her naked. One too many times.

Before long, they fell into each other's arms. Alex's eyes fluttered shut when she felt his lips pressed against hers gently and his tongue massaging hers lightly. Every time he kissed her, it was like he was doing it for the first time. She'll never get enough of his kisses, never get enough of having his arms around her. She wanted to stay that way for the rest of her life.

They finally pulled apart when air became a problem. Bobby and Alex just looked at each other for a few moments and felt nothing but silence lingering between them. No words needed to be said because their eyes spoke for them. Everything that's been happening was poured into their heated kiss. All the anger, the frustration, the happiness, the sadness and the confusion were let out when they fell into each other's arms.

And it was tearing them apart, limb by limb.

Bobby looked at her and nodded his head before he turned on his heel and proceeded to leave. Just as he put his hand on the doorknob and began to open the door, Alex's voice called out to him.

"Come over tonight? I'll make dinner," she told him, more like a suggestion.

"Okay," he simply replied.

"One more thing, if there's anything that's worth having you as a partner, I love you. Always have, always will. No one will tell me any different," she whispered.

He just nodded his head and walked out of his office, leaving her alone with her thoughts. She sighed deeply as she walked over to the desk, took out of her badge and gun and placed them on the table. Then, with some hesitation, she picked up the phone and dialed the Chief's number.

"Hello? Chief? This is detective Eames. I'm calling to let you know that I won't be taking the captain's exam," she said. After a tiny nod, she hung up the phone and just stood there for a few minutes. Since Bobby won't be working here anymore, there's no sense for her to stay, either. Despite their disagreements and conflicts, Bobby was everything she wanted in a partner and a man. He's her stability. He's her lifeline.

And she loved him more than anything in the world.

Sighing deeply and running her fingers through her long brown highlighted hair, she looked around the captain's office one more time before she turned on her heel and walked out of the office. Then, she grabbed a box and began putting her things inside. She was not only not taking the captain's exam, but she too was walking away from the Major Case Squad and, quite possibly, away from the NYPD once and for all.

Maybe Bobby was right. Maybe it was time for her to move on. As much as she loves being a cop, it didn't make her life complete. However, the day Bobby became her partner, her life gotten better and better. Now, she lost him as a partner and she could lose him as a boyfriend as well.

After placing all of her belongings in the box, she looked around the precinct one more time and noticed it was completely empty. Fresh tears started falling down her face as she picked up the box, turned on her heel and began walking out of the precinct. She stopped, looked over her shoulder one more time before taking a deep breath and continued to walk out.

And, as painful as it was doing it, she never looked back.

It was time to move on.

But the bittersweet memories lingered on.

**Coming up in the next chapter: Bobby and Alex have dinner, in which they discuss their future. Will they split up or will they remain together? Stay tuned!**

**Please review (I need lots of them)!**


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